I am one of those special people who injures themselves only through stupidity:
- I tore all the ligaments down the right side of my right foot 20 seconds before the end of the last song at a high school dance trying to impress some girl. Girl wasn't impressed. Dan in much pain and can't walk properly for a month, has to get crutches.
- I tore all the ligaments down the left side of my left foot by tripping over the service line tape on an en-tous-cas (clay) tennis court. Yes, the tape that is no more than one millimetre (1/32 of an inch for those in imperial) above the rest of the court. No more tennis for Dan for a month.
- I tore all the ligaments down the right side of my right foot again by jumping over a 60 cm high (2 feet) fence and coming down on the edge of a brick while retrieving a hacky sack. No more hacky sack for Dan for a month.
- I tore all the ligaments down the left side of my left foot again while running around a park well after midnight playing vortex ball while drunk. This is one of those things that in hindsight was a terrible idea, but at the time, this was unquestionably one of the greatest ideas in human history, right up there with the wheel, fire and Angelina Jolie.
A trip to the osteopath and $70 later I am in less pain but can't play tennis for a week, which is bad 'cause I have to find fill-ins for four of the different competitions I play in. So here I am again, back on the couch, writing this to inform you all of the lurking dangers of your couch. Watch out. You've been warned.
P.S. I now wholeheartedly endorse Voltaren anti-inflammitory pain killers. They work good.